Your passion is your purpose

Everyone has a purpose in this life…

And I can tell you that it is NOT to find the perfect relationship!!!  The perfect relationship will come to you once you are actually working in your purpose…The perfect will relationship will enhance your purpose…

Yes, we have many relationships…and yes, they are needed because they teach us valuable lessons about ourselves and what we truly want out of life… But stop trying to make the relationship the most important thing in your life.

You will not have to sacrifice for the perfect relationship.  It should not be a weekly struggle…and you should not be shedding tears time and time again over the same topics.  The perfect relationship is a conversation, not an argument.  It is honesty, and compromise, and acceptance that leads to understanding and security…  It is trust and faith and surrender.

Your happiness is the most important thing in your life…and you will only find it by being true to yourself and working in your purpose.  Find your passion and you will find your purpose.  Discover what you love to do, what makes time fly, what you would choose to do when given any opportunity…And that is your passion.

What did you spend hours doing as a child?  What do you dream of doing as an adult?  Where do your thoughts go when they are left to wander?  What are you good at…and would like to learn more?

Your passion is your purpose…It will bring you happiness, it will bring you security, and it will bring everything together in the perfect way…And YES, it will bring you the perfect relationship.

 

Betrayal … It’s just a feeling

Betrayal is something that happens – that you feel when you have expectations of people, and those people do their own thing…but you don’t accept them for exactly who they are because they didn’t do what you wanted, or needed, or expected them to do.  They didn’t rise to your standards…you judged them and deemed them someone that couldn’t be trusted because you felt that they hurt you on purpose…

You feel betrayed when you take another person’s actions as a personal act done against you… But in reality, these people are just being true to themselves – They are trying to find out who they are, what they need, and how to get to their goals in life.  They are on their own personal journey of growth and accomplishments that you know nothing about.  They have the right to choose their own actions…Just as you have the right to choose your own reactions.  So please react in a way that is a positive reflection of the person that you are…react with understanding and acceptance.

Sometimes the actions are so close to your heart that you get swept away in your own feelings… Let the hurt come, feel it and accept it, then move forward towards your own goals and dreams.  Don’t let yourself get embedded in the bitter world of betrayal.  Nobody “did” anything to you…you chose to react with offense, you chose to allow the bitterness to wash over you, you chose to wallow in self pity…they did an action, and you chose a certain reaction.

Betrayal is just another form of getting offended…So just STOP!  Stop getting offended when people are just being themselves, stop feeling betrayed because someone didn’t consider your feelings before they did something, and stop worrying about the journey of anyone else other than yourself.  Do yourself a favor… FORGIVE!  Forgive everyone that you have ever felt hurt you, forgive everyone that you thought was out to ruin you, forgive everyone for not knowing that they didn’t meet your standards…and then Forgive yourself for feeling hurt, for judging others, and for imposing your expectations into other peoples lives.

Acknowledge what happens, embrace your feelings, and then accept everyone for exactly who they are.  You don’t have to like everything that people do…but you should acknowledge that they have their right to be that way,  you may not want to have certain people in your inner circle…but you should accept them as who they are, and your life may need to take a different turn as you continue your journey … and being flexible enough to take charge of your own feelings and reactions will make it allot more easy and enjoyable.

Betrayal is just a feeling that you can choose not to experience…YOUR CHOICE…YOUR HAPPINESS

Forgive and Grow

Learn to forgive for the things that you just didn’t know…  The opportunities may have been there for you, but if you couldn’t see the choices, then they really weren’t there for you to choose.  Stop beating yourself up about what you could’ve or should’ve done…Because you chose the best you could with the choices that you understood.  Forgive yourself for not being aware of other choices…You just weren’t ready to see them…and that’s perfectly fine.  It’s all part of learning about who you are and growing into who you want to be.  We are all doing the best we can at every given moment…And the universe is giving us the best options for the place where we are, at that given time.

And guess what…You are allowed to change your mind, tweak an opinion, or just abandon an idea.  That is called learning and growing…You aren’t living unless you are learning and moving forward with creating a better you.  Don’t allow people to make you feel guilty for your person growth…you have the right to disagree today, and agree tomorrow.  It’s good to try to understand someone else’s point of view.  It’s compassionate to try to accept someone else’s differences.  And you need to forgive yourself for the things that you didn’t understand yesterday.

So please stop regretting the things you call mistakes…and embrace the new opportunities that have arrived because of those choices.  Your opinion of you is the only one that really matters… and you are your worst critic.  Please stop judging yourself so harshly and let go of the guilt and anxiety.  You are really doing the best that you can and that makes you perfect, just the way you are.

Chaos brings change

I realize that we live in a world of duality…and it is a perfect design.  We can’t feel happiness without knowing the sadness, We can’t understand logic unless we experienced the illogical, we don’t appreciate the peace without knowing the struggle, and there is no light without the dark.  Change is born from the depths of chaos…and so it is important to understand, and accept, and even appreciate the purpose of having these dualities in the world.

That is our personal challenge…to embrace these opposites so that we can find our own personal peace at the center of our souls.  It is possible to live your life in peace and happiness while the world swirls with chaos around you.  Embrace the knowledge of knowing that these dualities are working to bring about change for a better tomorrow.  There is no sense worrying about a future that you  don’t even know if it will happen or not.  Stop the needless worry and start adding your positive influences into the world.  Stop blaming and criticizing, and start speaking from a place of understanding and support.  We all can make a positive difference with our positive thoughts, words, and actions.

How do you know right, if you have never know wrong…How do you feel happiness, if you’ve never felt sad… and how do you appreciate peace if you have never known chaos… I have personally grown from the struggles that I have been through.  I have changed myself and my life to reflect the inner peace I have discovered through the tough times that I’ve had.  I am now grateful for every bad mood, mis-step, and sad event that I have experienced because they all have brought wonderful changes into my world.  I could not feel this love, acceptance, and appreciation without going through those struggles.  And the beautiful part is, that everyone has the greatest opportunities to go through these struggles so that they too may experience the inner peace of acceptance, tolerance, and forgiveness…all facets of love.  It’s possible to fight for your cause through the power of the positive forces of love.

So embrace the duality of our world, for it is here to help us grow and find our own inner peace…If you can understand that, then you can step onto the path of acceptance and begin your journey of happiness.  Good luck my friends…It really is a beautiful journey.

Your best is enough

Don’t be ashamed of anything that you do.  That only gives people power over you.  Take your power back, adjust your life, and move onto your next adventure.  They are not mistakes…They are a learning process.  Just live your life honestly as yourself.  It takes courage to be honest with yourself and act on what is best for you.

The truth is that EVERYONE is doing the complete best that they have to give at EVERY given moment in their lives.  You can’t give more or do better when you have not experienced what it takes to be there.  Don’t judge anyone because we are all at different stages in our development.  To live with peace in your heart, you must strive to give your best, accept everyone else’s attempts, and move on with your own adventures.

Life is meant to be lived…an adventure that brings you knowledge and happiness.  Life is not meant to be difficult and stressful.  Take each moment as it comes…live in that moment…and then move onto the next.  Don’t dwell in the past or obsess over the future…You can’t change the past and you can’t predict the future, so live in the present moment.  That is all we really have…each present moment.  There is a difference between remembering and dwelling.  There is a difference in preparing and obsessing.  Just take the time to enjoy who you are and what you have right now.

Change can be difficult to understand and accept…But you must do what is right for you.  Even if things don’t happen as you wanted, you still get results and learn from them.  So don’t ever be ashamed of what you do or who you are…Just do your best… and know that it is enough.

The power is yours

It doesn’t matter who you are or what situation you encounter…There are only 2 options to move forward in life.

Be a victim and feel sorry for yourself, want others’ to pity you, and live in unhappiness… We all go through this stage at some point because it is a human emotion to want others’ to see your point and give you some validation.  But to live your life as a victim is to live a life of no power, no pride, and no reason.  You must find the strength inside yourself to claim who you really are/want to be.  Which will bring you to the second option…

Be a leader…Take ownership of your life and actions, strive to move forward because you are determined to make life happen for you (not to you), and find the positive in each day.  You are the only permanent player in your game of life…everyone else comes and goes, but you are always there.  So be present and take charge of everything that comes into your realm.

Understand that your thoughts control your emotions, your emotions control your actions, and your actions create more thoughts… So you have the power to consciously think about how you want to feel about everything that happens to you in everyday situations — YOU HAVE THAT POWER — Your actions follow your thoughts.

Holding onto thoughts of fear, guilt, and resentment gives you negative feelings for the day … and so you will act sad, desperate, and angry towards everyone/everything that comes into your life.  When you treat people with the anger and fear, they will respond to you with the same emotions… you literally have invited them to treat you that way.  And if you live each day with anger, fear, and desperation…then you will begin to only attract the same quality of people/situations into you life.

The answer is to change your thoughts…change how you think about a person or situation.  Find even the smallest positive aspect and build on it.  If you practice finding something good, it will become a habit and you will naturally begin to see how everything works out for your benefit.  You will think positive thoughts, feel good emotions, and act in a way that encourages only positive people into your life.  Decide right now to be the leader of your life and not a victim.

Own your past

Everyone has their own past…their own demons, experiences, and burdens to work through.  And no matter how much you think you know a person…you just DON’T!!! You don’t even really know the true feelings of your siblings…you may have experienced the same event but still have 2 totally different emotions about it.   You can’t know what they think or feel…and even if they tell you a story, you just don’t know how deeply it affected them.

So stop playing the blame game, because everyone is seriously doing the best they can at every given moment… your pain is yours and yours alone…so deal with it instead of hiding from it and blaming others’ for it.  Don’t be afraid to get to know the real you.  It’s not your parents’ fault that you are now an angry adult… if you know you’re angry, figure out why and change.  It’s not your boss’ fault that you hate your job… figure out why you hate it, or find a job you love.  It’s not your ex’s fault that you have trust issues…they are your feelings so deal with them. The government isn’t the root of your misery… it’s your own thoughts about the government that makes your own misery.

Your past is unique to you, as is the past of everyone else in this world.  So deal with the feelings that you have for your past experiences.  Look in the mirror and truly see yourself…if you are angry at someone, then you really are angry with yourself.  If someone/something offends you, figure out why it bruised your ego (I allowed myself to get offended the other day, over something that was said as a joke.  When I stopped to think about it, I realized that it stung because I really didn’t think I was smart enough for the things we were doing…So I changed the way I felt about myself.  I realize I may not know everything, but I am willing to learn…and that is good enough).  If you you are jealous, it’s because of something that you think you are lacking.  If you think he/she didn’t really love you, then you really didn’t love them (maybe you were just in love with the idea of being in love),  If you dislike a quality in someone, truly think about that quality in yourself.  Stop blaming other people for your life situations, take control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and understand how your past has affected you so that you can make positive changes to create happiness in your future.

In all honesty, everyone (your parents, your neighbors, your co-workers, your spouse, etc…) is loving you the best that they know how in that present moment of their lives.  And as my very wise friend told me … “if you praised someone and considered them your equal, but today you are trash talking them…then you are really trash talking yourself.”  So take the time to think about your feelings and understand what they mean to you…and stop projecting them onto other people.  Your thoughts, feelings, actions, and future are your responsibility…take charge of them and make it a happy life.

Every Step is Sacred

A very wise lady told me to stop trying so hard to be spiritual.  She said that every step that I take in everyday life should be sacred.  This swam around in my brain for a year, liking the words but never fully understanding the meaning.

Then I came across a book, Dying to be Me by Anita Moorjani…and the quote on the cover grabbed me and held on…”I had the choice to come back…or not.  I chose to return when I realized that ‘heaven’ is a state, not a place…”

Now I understood… I create my world, my state of mind, my experiences… I create it through everything I think and feel and say, every step I take, and how I perceive myself.  I create my happiness and/or sadness by the way I chose to interact with a situation.  I create my health by how I allow the world to affect me and manifest inside my body.  I attract the positive things in life by my appreciation for what I already have.

LOVE is the key… everything I do, feel, say, and think should be done with the intent of unconditional love…every step I take should be sacred…everything I do should start from love.  The unconditional love of acceptance, tolerance, understanding, forgiveness, respect…We are all a part of the higher power, we just need to tap into it, allow it to guide us, and live in that state of heaven.  Tap into your soul and follow your heart… learn to cast aside the situations that don’t bring you happiness.  If a thought or situation make you feel uncomfortable (angry, frustrated, jealous, etc…), then just leave it…stop thinking about it, stop talking about it, stop being involved with it.  Occupy your mind and time with something that brings you positive feeling… feelings of happiness, contentedness, excitement, etc…  Heaven is within our souls, and every step we take in life should come from this sacred place.

 

Emotions

I have allowed myself to be ruled by my emotions for most of my life…As a kid, they give me an excuse that I am just learning right from wrong and how to control myself.  As a teenager, they say that it’s all hormones.  And as an adult, I was always convinced that I was that way because I was a woman, and I was a Pisces, and I was an artist.  And to further complicate things…I was told that my emotions were a bad thing.  I was convinced that I could never be good enough because I was too sensitive.  The more I struggled with my emotions, the more they ruled me…and the more my emotions ruled me, the more I struggled with them…and the ugly cycle continued.

Then I was pushed down this path to really understand who I am …and that includes understanding my emotions and the role they play in my life.  I have realized that I am only human…and emotions are part of the human experience.  I have learned to respect my emotions by validating that they exist and understanding why they have surfaced.  I no longer push them aside and let them fester until they explode.  I feel them, think about why they arose, and  learn from that situation.  I don’t wallow in them or allow them to change my mood, day, or life.  Yes, I get angry and I may even take a harsh tone…but then I think about why I’m angry (or hurt, frustrated, jealous, nervous, etc…)and I take the appropriate action to bring myself back to a happy mood.  I may decide to talk to someone, or journal about it, or apologize, or to just give it up to the angels…but the point is that I felt my emotion and I allowed it to teach me a lesson.  I didn’t obsessively think about my feeling all day and allow it to rule my thoughts and actions.

I now find my emotions to be a beautiful part of my life.  I love to feel…just feel.  The good vibes are sweeter and the bad parts pass by more quickly with greater ease.  I no longer feel trapped in a world ruled by my obsessive emotions.  I now partner with them and allow myself to feel deeply, think rationally, and act in appropriate ways.  Unfortunate things still occur, but I have learned to accept them and find a strand of good so I can start to heal and be happy.  Find peace by learning to love yourself and everything that you are…when you find that place of acceptance and peace, then everything will fall into place.  So my advice is to slow down and really be willing to see yourself.  When you find yourself in an emotional place…take the time to feel and think about it.  Take the time to get to know yourself just as you would get to know a new friend…Because YOU should be your best friend.

Change your World

Start changing the world by changing your life…how you see things, how you feel, and what you choose to say.  Only you have control over your own thoughts, feelings, words, and actions… So make then count in a positive way to work towards your happiness.  Your Grandma’s old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”, is more than just her telling you to be nice to people…It’s giving you the secret to your own personal happiness, and how to change your little part of your world.  If we all changed our little part of the world…then it becomes a large section, and soon takes over as the majority.  The vibe that you put out to the world always breeds and surrounds you.  If you emit a presence of tolerance, acceptance, and inner-peace…then those things will multiply and become the majority of your little world.  If you choose to emit intolerance, hate, and mis-representation… then that is what is going to fill your life and continue to come back to you.  I’m not saying to ignore things and turn the other cheek…I’m telling you to speak your truth in a positive way…and then trust the outcome and look for the good.  You will never have the need to feel a long lasting disappointment/anger/frustration if you find the positive, accept the situation, and trust the future.

And while you are reading this, if you find yourself saying…But my opinion matters, I can’t just sit back and not say anything, they shouldn’t get away with this, people need to know, I have the right… My reply is…Yes, your opinion matters to you.  It may not be the opinion of others’ so you should not try to force it onto them… Yes, you CAN sit back and not say anything, try it (it’s peaceful).  But if you feel you must say something, stick to the truth/facts… Yes, life seems unfair when people get away with what we feel is an injustice, so look for the good that will come out of that situation… Yes, people have the right to know the truth, so stick with the facts and not opinions and feelings… Yes, you have the privilege of rights, and along with that privilege comes the responsibility of listening to your moral compass and leaving this world a better place for the next generation.  If you concentrate on the wrong and the bad…you will create more of what is wrong and bad.  If you concentrate on what is right and good…you will attract more of what is right and good.  Hate breeds hate and love breeds love.  You can’t stop war with more war…you can only stop war with peace.  So when you speak out for what you believe in, do it with positive words about your cause and not negativity about what you don’t want.