Finding The Love…For Yourself

There are many people out there who have the love of another…yet they are still unhappy.  I could never understand this…people who are so loved and so blessed, yet they are so miserable in their own skin.  Truth be told, I became one of these people.  I had family and friends who loved me, I had a wonderful home, and a job that I loved…I had so much to be thankful for… Yet I would find myself hating to look in the mirror.  I would find fault with my hair, my body, my clothing, etc…  But these are things that I could change if I just cared enough about myself to take that first step.  And that first step is hard for people who have been trained (by society) to always be giving, to always be working, and to stay humble by shunning all compliments, and to accept the worst in ourselves…to even believe the harsh things others may say about us so that we will strive to “better ourselves”.  Those things sound harmless…they sound like a way of raising a responsible citizen…Yet when taken to heart, it creates a person who never thinks of them self.  In fact, a person who thinks so little of them self that they can’t find any love there.  And ultimately, if you can’t love yourself…you will never have the love to give to the world around you.  You will remain miserable, and it will catch up to you.  If you don’t take care of yourself, you will start to look miserable, you will start to feel miserable, and you will start to act miserable…Time will catch up to you.

When you truly love who you are…every part of who you are…then you will be happy.  You will look happy, you will feel happy, and you will act happy.  You will spread that happiness automatically to the people around you.  It starts with the basics…Take pride in who you are and how you look in this very moment.  Accept and love your crooked nose, your skinny legs, and your curly hair.  It’s really not about the shape of your body…but how you care enough to present it to the world.  Take a few minutes out of your morning to groom yourself…wash your face, style your hair, apply some lotion.  Buy the clothing that fits and flatters the shape of your unique body.  Wear the shoes that compliment your outfit yet still gives you support for the day.  Wear a pair of modern glasses instead of the ones you bought 20 years ago.  Or it may come down to just wearing a coat to keep your body warm.  Love and respect the body you have.

Not loving who you are will only lead you to depression and anxiety…which leads you to zero energy, zero motivation, and zero will to help yourself.  You have to take the time to love who you are…the way that you look…right now in this very moment, and then you can start to make the small changes to better yourself.  Take the time to wear the shoes that make your feet feel good, or to curl your hair so it shows off your sparkling eyes, or to buy the outfit that accents the curves and angels of your body, or to put on the sunscreen to protect your skin…Take the time to care about how you present yourself so that you can feel good about you.  Once you start to present yourself as the beautiful unique person that you are…then that happiness will start to spread to other areas in your life.  It will affect eating the foods that properly feed your body, keeping your space free of clutter so that you don’t feel bogged down, and making meaningful connections with other people.

Each of us is unique.  We each have beauty that shines through our physical forms.  All you need to do is find the love to accept yourself exactly as you are…and to embrace it enough to show it off to the world.  Remember it doesn’t matter the physical form you have…it’s about caring enough to accent it in a way that flatters it.  I can’t be you, and you can’t be me…but we can both be fabulous.  And that is worth love.

Grow your Soul

I’ve just realized something important to my personal growth, and I thought I would share it with you…

Relationships are always in the back of my mind.  Relationships come into our lives to help us grow as individuals…we must be open to that.  We must understand that sometimes our growth is painful and not perfect…and we must be open to that as well.  We need to understand that the relationship that we need, to help us grow, will be the one that comes into our lives…and we have to try to understand that it may not be a happily ever after.  But the bottom line is that we were not meant to go through this life totally alone.  The only way that we can truly grow and express ourselves, is to share who we are with others.

Now money is also an issue that I think about.  I realize that money is just energy and power…another resource just like time, health, knowledge, talent/skills, love, etc…  I realize that we must respect it as such and we have to be ok with how it flows through our lives.  We need to realize that it all flows better when we are centered in who we are and who we want to be.  In fact, Love, health, money, career… It will all flow in a positive direction in our lives when we fully understand the concept that our soul/god given energy is the magnet that attracts it.  So we must work on loving ourselves, respecting our instincts, and honoring our own unique life path.

With that said, it is important to understand that we are all in charge of creating our own happiness, health, and success.  Your feelings are your responsibility.  Your body is your responsibility.  Your future is your responsibility.  So do the work to honor yourself…listen to to your soul and to what God is trying to tell you.  Your feelings are communications from your soul, so honor them by accepting them and figuring out what message they are trying to send you.  Choose to follow your own dreams, you feel a passion for things because they are meant to be in your life and on your life’s path.  Also, learn to accept help, opportunities, and resources when they come into your life.  Be grateful for the help, and then do your best to grow as a shining light for the next person.  We can only grow and prosper when we share ourselves openly and honestly with zero expectations…You can’t expect anyone else to fulfill your responsibilities when it comes to the growth of your own loving soul.

So go out into the world and share your love and light…and grow your God-given soul.

Happiness is a state of mind

I realize that my state of mind, my mood, my happiness…is all up to me.  I need to make a conscious decision to breathe through the frustrations and find something to be happy about.  Happiness should be our goal in everything that we do.  I understand that sometimes it’s awfully difficult to find that place of peace…and it those moment, I want to invite you to just reach for a little bit of contentment…just the next step up the emotional ladder.  When we realize that life is getting us down, We should all be able to stop and breathe and find that next step higher.

With this in mind…I invite you all to start a daily happiness journal.  At the end of each day, write down at least one thing that made you smile, or created some happiness, or just brought you some contentment…something that you thought was the brightest part of your day.  It can be as simple as getting to work on time, having your dog greet you at the door, or seeing a baby smile.

My theory is that if we start to focus on something good in each day, then the next day will bring us even more things to smile at.  And I’m hoping that before we know it, good feelings will be the norm in the everyday existence of our lives.  Let’s take back our control of our own feelings…

I’m starting 2/12/2016…I hope that you join me.

Take Charge of Your Future

I have now spent quite a few years reading the teachings and gathering the knowledge from several authors such as Cheryl Richardson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, and The Teachings of Abraham by Esther and Jerry Hicks…Just to name a few.  And they all point to the same message…WE ARE TOTALLY IN CONTROL OF OUR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCES!!!  The thoughts and energy that we put out into the world are the very things that create our experiences.  What we think about the most…What we give our energy to…good or bad…That is what is created for us.  So if you think about not ever having enough money, then you are always going to have not enough money.  If you think about not ever finding true love, then you are going to experience not ever finding true love.  If you are always thinking and talking about how miserable your life is, then you are going to be given a miserable life.  But if you think about how much love you have in your life, then love is going to come your way.  If you are thankful for being able to pay your bills, then money will continue to come to you.  If you enjoy life, then it will continue to bring happiness into your life.  It’s called the law of attraction…your thoughts, words, and actions are energy… and what energy you put out into the world actually creates your experiences.  If you can take the time to find a little happiness in each day, then you will start to see more happiness come to you.  The more grateful you are will bring more things to be grateful for. 

Once you understand that you are creating your own reality, now you can intentionally set forth positive thoughts and words to bring more good stuff into your life.  You will become an active participant in creating your experiences.  Discover what it is that you really want.  When you know exactly what you want, now you can take positive steps towards achieving that goal.  Find something to be happy about, be grateful for the smallest steps of growth, and allow the positive changes to bring you your dreams… But you must be willing to be thankful for it all.  You must look into the hard times and see the lessons.  You must be willing to evaluate, forgive, and grow in the knowing that every event (good, bad, or ugly) is helping you to get a step closer to what you really want.  Losing your job gives you the opportunity to pursue your passion and find a job that makes you happy.  Getting a divorce allows you to get to know who you really are and find someone with those same values.  Being forced to move residency allows you to find the home of your dreams.  Being forced to stop settling is the opportunity to find your bliss.  You must be open to the changes and trust that they are helping you fulfill your dreams.  Find the courage to say “yes”  to opportunities.

Learn who you are and what you want out of life.  Life should be happy…you can get everything you want, but you first have to know what it is that you want.  So listen to your heart and find out what you want.  Let go of the past…forgive and be okay with it.  The past is just a tool to let you know what you don’t want, so that you can now concentrate on what you do want.  You must open your heart to the new possibilities and be grateful for everything that flows to you.  Take care of what you have and make space for what you want…you will never get what you truly want by holding onto what you are just settling for.  Take steps towards your happy future, be grateful for and learn from everything that happens, and trust that you will get what you want because you now understand that you are the one who creates your own future.

 

Let happiness find you

The youth of today give me such inspiration…

My My oldest is off in college…It is a challenge and he encounters many obstacles.  He is faced with questions about his future as well as pushes and pulls from a few adults in his life… relatives, teachers, and friends that aren’t cued into his what will make him happy.  He worries just like every other young adult when faced with growing up and moving on.

I asked him about his hopes, worries, and relationships… His words to me were, “I’m just living my life the best I can and letting it all come to me.”  To that I say…YYYEEESSS!!!  I’m going to add to that statement that we should all practice our passion, find the positive in each moment, and strive for the peace that comes in the knowing that life will bring us exactly what we need to live in happiness… We just have to look for it and tune into it.

It’s the positive outlook in life that will bring you all that you want.  The ability to find the silver lining will help you to evolve and reach for the next adventure.  There is more than enough of everything in this world…You just have to open your eyes and see it,  open your heart and feel it, open your soul and remember it.  This is your journey, make it what you want it to be.  Don’t worry about anyone else’s journey, we all have different agendas.  Strive to get the most happiness out of this adventure that you are on.  And remember,  scarcity and loss are an illusion brought on by fear.  Be thankful for the little things and they will grow with the positive energy of your gratitude.

Slow down and enjoy the ride.  Get to know yourself… who you really are, what you really want out of life, and how you feel about it all.  I see so many people that are miserable from dawn to dusk.  Their mood plummets with  every negative thing that they search for.  They hate their job, or relationship, or body, this movie, or that driver, etc… They can always find a reason to be mad.

WHY??? This is madness at the core…Instead of spending your energy looking for the bad, try spending less energy and find something good.  And if you can’t find the good, then leave the situation and find something more pleasing… Just because you are afraid to be alone doesn’t mean you should stay in that relationship, just because you are afraid to not have money doesn’t mean you should stay at that job, just because your afraid to be away from your family doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move out on your own… Just because you are afraid doesn’t mean that you don’t have a choice!!!  You are missing out on the next fun adventure because you are afraid to let go of what is making you miserable.

Say yes to yourself, to happiness, and to life…Enjoy what life brings you and move onto the next adventure with happiness at your core.

You are good enough

There is enough to go around

There is always something to be grateful for

I promise you… your life will only get better when you get rid of fear and anxiety and look for the happiness that is waiting for you in each moment of every day.  You have the power to change your mood and change your life.  So let the happiness come.

Happiness is the goal

There doesn’t need to be blame or excuses …

Someone doesn’t have to be right, and the other person wrong…

The better solution is to learn, grow, and just simply live our lives as it unfolds.  Love is everlasting.  Just because we grow apart from a person and take a life path in a different direction, doesn’t mean that we can no longer love each other.  You don’t need to live with someone, or even bring them into the inner circle of your life, in order for you to care for them…You just need to accept them for who they are…And that is enough.  We humans are the only species that cause our own misery by thinking too much…The past is over and done, you can’t go back and change it.  So why obsess over it…Just learn from it and move onto the next adventure.  The future hasn’t happened, and you can’t control it or anyone else…so stop giving your energy to something that may not even occur.  Give your thoughts and your energy to what you want…not what you want someone else to do/say/be…not to what you don’t have or don’t want…But clearly focus on your wants/dreams/desires.  Life is meant to be enjoyed…so learn to appreciate each adventure and let it bring you all the happiness that you can imagine…because happiness is the true goal of prosperity.  Everything you desire, you want because you think it will bring you happiness…So cut out the middle man and just strive for the joy.  Happiness is the real goal in life.

Nature doesn’t know the word Can’t

I was having a great evening with a friend, and we started talking about what we wanted in the future in our job fields… and she was excited to tell me what experiences she wanted, and followed it up with…”but I know it probably won’t happen because I am the wrong body type” .  I started thinking about that statement…just those simple words are now defining the outcome of her future!!!

Do you think Mother Nature cares that it is February in the middle of winter…No, she gave us a week of pure sun and temperatures in the 60’s

Do you think this tree worried that it wasn’t growing with the rest of the trees, and that it shouldn’t be on the top of this rock…

 No, It’s goal was life…and it made it happen

Do you think squirrels ask…Am I too pudgy to sit on this branch

 or, that they get defeated when they try to get to the food but we make devices to try to stop them

 No…The goal is food and they try and try and try until they reach their meal 

And do you think this cute fluff ball cared that I was typing a blog post…No, his goal was affection and he jumped on the keyboard and rolled around on my lap and got the love that he craved

My point is that we humans are the only creatures in nature that overthink our situations, create self doubt, and sabotage our futures!!!  We need to take our cue from the perfectly running system all around us… Love who we are, accept everything about ourselves as true and good, and retain the confidence to pursue our goals and find satisfaction in the present moment.

You already ARE everything that you need…You already HAVE everything that you have been praying for…You just have to find the courage to embrace it, have the confidence to “go for it” ,  apply the trust to know that is coming to you…and have the desire to continue after any and all failed attempts.  You are like the tree growing strong on the rocky shore…you are like the squirrel finding a way to reach his food around all the blocks put in his way…you are like the pet reminding me to embrace the moment and enjoy the love that is given to me at all times… You are perfect just as you are, and you can reach any goal that you truly want …you just have to remember that you are part of the perfectly running system of nature…A place where acceptance flows freely

LOVE

Love is so much more than a romantic partner…

It’s appreciation

It’s gratitude

It’s acceptance

It’s being of service…even in the smallest of ways

It’s giving…AND receiving

It’s a smile, a nod of understanding, and a tip of the hat…

It’s honest communication

It’s in each laugh and in each tear

Love is as vital as the air we breathe

You will find love in every moment, if you choose to look for the positive and let go of the hurt.  It’s all in your perspective…One day’s disaster can be the next day’s lesson that lifts your soul up to see the joy in everyday miracles.

You can spread your love through your smile to a stranger, a kind word to an acquaintance, and a hug to a friend.  No gesture of love is ever too small, and you will always be rewarded ten-fold.

Every moment is bringing you love…you just have to be open to seeing the possibilities.  

Think from your Heart

I’ve been dormant for a month now…recovering from the negativity that I’ve been sucked into…It’s swirling all around us…anywhere from dramatic  holiday get-togethers, anxiety of new year resolutions, over-time at work, to the media frenzy that has us judging and condemning our friends, family, and neighbors over political issues.  I finally had to stop and center myself… redefine what is important to me and my happiness.

I needed to really think about and align my life with the issues that are very important to me…and then go out into the world and make a difference in those areas.  I suggest that we all purge our pallets and rediscover the issues that are important to ourselves…and leave the rest, without comment, for the people who have a passion for those issues.  I have realized that if I don’t have a passion for an issue…then I should just keep my mouth shut…because, if I don’t have the passion, then I probably don’t know enough to be judging it.  If I do have the passion, then I should find an outlet for my agenda, and get out in the community and volunteer my time to the cause.  There is nothing more rewarding than having the first hand knowledge and experience of serving your passion and community with a cause that you deem to be worth your time, energy, and ideas.

I have realized that the media (including Facebook, Twitter, ETC…) has made it so easy for people to accept blindly and judge without knowing the real facts and stories behind the articles and memes.  The media is playing on fears and doubts about our future…causing a blinded public to riot and scream about events that have not and may not even happen.  As responsible adults, citizens, and custodians of this planet…It is in our best interest to work together by having tolerance for differing opinions and allowing them to pass through our lives without our judgments.

This past month has made me realize that non-judgment is one of the keys to my happiness…non-judgment in all areas of my life including family, work, friends, and world issues.  It has helped me seek a true trust in the process of life and the future.  Putting my trust in “the powers that be” has freed me from the shackles of nagging “what if” thoughts, “who do they think they are” feelings, and “I’ll show you” actions.

And as I have just read this to my teen-aged son…his thought to me is, “That’s pretty deep Mom, you really think from your heart.”

My son gets it…and I hope that you do too.  Let’s all think from our hearts and make this world a better place safe from negativity and judgments.  Start with your own life…your circle of family and friends.  Spread it out into your small community…act with love and think from your heart.