You are human too

It really is okay…Honestly, it’s perfectly acceptable to be yourself.  It’s alright to feel those emotions and think those thoughts… It’s understandable to lose your temper or feel that pain… It’s needed to grieve the loss and celebrate the victories.  We are HUMAN… with human emotions, and human needs, and a human ego.  So you are going to make mistakes, feel emotional pain, and do things that you realize weren’t the best option…But you are also going to have victories, feel elation, and realize that you are good.  The key is to realize that we all go through the same things because we are all human…the experiences may be different but the effects on our minds, bodies, and souls are the same.  You must learn to acknowledge our human qualities, accept them for just being a human experience, and forgive any negative that may have been felt.  When you can do this, then you will move on with peace in your life.

It becomes easy to understand, accept, and forgive others.  Now here’s the hard part…YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, ACCEPT, AND FORGIVE YOURSELF!!!  You are human too.  So you lost your temper…accept that fact and think about why you lost your temper, then forgive your yourself because you are human and you are allowed to have that experience.  Okay, it’s been a year and you are still grieving… not everyone grieves the same way.  Strive to understand your emotions and come to terms with them…become your own friend, that someone you can trust with your emotions.  You got that big promotion and you were celebrating, but now you feel guilty for it… accomplishments are worth acknowledgment.  You must realize that you are worth the elation and celebration.  If your parent, or child, or best friend were in these situations, I’m sure you would understand and help them accept it and move on… So why are you any different?  You also deserve the patience and love to accept it and move on.  Treat yourself with the same kindness that you offer to any other person in this world.

Do you stay angry at your your mom for showing up at your house needing to talk, but in the process, ruining the busy schedule and deadlines that you have… No, you don’t.  You say, “This must be something really important to her…she doesn’t know that I have a busy day.” …and you make the appropriate calls, rearrange your schedule, and listen to her story.  Do you stay angry at your child for breaking that expensive vase that sits in the corner of the room…no, you don’t.  You say, “he wasn’t thinking… he didn’t know it would break.” …and you box away the family heirlooms or stop buying expensive breakables.  Do you stay angry at your best friend for backing out of your movie night… no, you don’t.  You say, “something important must have come up, or…she must have needed a break, or… well, that’s just who she is.” …and you either call to see if she needs to talk, or you schedule back-up plans, or you learn to enjoy your own company for the evening.   The point is, you’ve accepted and forgave and then moved on with your life… You didn’t dwell in the right/wrong or good/bad of the situation.  Now it’s time to give yourself that same courtesy.  Look at your life as if you were seeing it as the life of the person you love the most in this world… if you can be okay with them, then you should be okay with yourself.  People like to say that they like their dog better than they like most human beings… But you forgive your dog when he chews up your favorite shoes, or poops on the carpet, or knocks over your drink ruining your laptop.  If they gave that kind of courtesy to humans… they would like them too.  It’s all in your mindset… give your dog a break, give other humans a break, give yourself a break…Allow yourself to experience all that it means to be human…and be okay with it…Understand, Accept, and Forgive.

Confidence

I finally found it…The confidence to be myself.  I look back on my life and realize that so many of my decisions were made out of fear of the unknown and the desire to please other people…even at the expense of my own happiness.  I can blame it on youth, or my upbringing, or my astrological sign…but the truth is that I lacked the confidence to believe in myself and pursue my own dreams.  I molded myself into what I thought other people wanted me to be.  I went along with what other people told me I should be and I never put my own thoughts into actions.  I settled for the ok life instead of trying for the fabulous dream.  I played it “safe” so I didn’t have surprises and disappointments.  But guess what, I realized that I like surprises…and no matter how hard I tried to “play by the rules”, I still had great disappointments.  And to top it off, I was left with a nagging feeling that I wasn’t living the life that I was meant to live…well no wonder, because I was living the life that I thought other people wanted me to live.

Now I’m finally at the point in my life that I can honestly say that…That is funny!!!  That is messed up, and super sad, and truly makes me laugh.  Because life has a way of slapping you in the face and setting you on the right path.  Every event in my life has been prepping me for this very moment of realization…I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!!  College, Children, Marriage and Divorce, Deaths and Losses…my adult life has been pushing me to understand that I can take care of myself and be of service to others without giving up who I am, my dreams, or my happiness.  Life isn’t about pleasing others…it’s about finding, understanding, and knowing your own worth.

CONFIDENCE…That’s what I needed.  The ability to trust myself, pursue my dreams, and enjoy the outcome of each “everyday” adventure.  The confidence to know that I have great ideas and the ability to follow through and make things happen.  The confidence to know that I am the best that I can be and I deserve the best that life has to offer me.  The confidence to stand up for my rights, my feelings, and my creativity.  I can be quirky without feeling out of place…I can show my emotions without feeling ashamed…I can state my opinion without feeling less than knowledgeable.  I am comfortable in the knowing that I don’t have to be perfect as long as I am genuine to who I am.  I have learned to say “no” with confidence…and I have learned to say “yes” with pride.  I no longer feel the need to defend myself or chime into every conversation…I have the confidence to stay silent, observe, and be at peace with my own knowledge.  I no longer feel the need to fill every void with conversation and action.  I have learned to importance of slowing down, resting, and being alone with my own thoughts.  And I have learned to accept a compliment or a “thank you” as a gift that no longer makes me squirm…because I now know that I deserve to be appreciated too.

So, if something upsets you…speak up for yourself.  If you are feeling uncomfortable, or unappreciated, or resentful…say something!!!  Don’t sweep your feelings under the rug… Don’t tamp down your thoughts for the sake of peace.  You are undermining your own power and chipping away at your self confidence.  Your thoughts, feelings, and ideas are important…all input is worth listening to.  You are the only one who can stand up and let it be known that you are important too.  You don’t have to yell it…just state it and let it be known, and then move forward with the contentedness that confidence brings into your life.

Memories

The funny thing about memories is that they are personal to each individual.  If you replay a scene over and over in your mind, each time changing the details and/or the feeling of the event…you are altering your memories, and you will only remember that version of the event.  So, two peoples’ account of the same event can vastly differ.  Therefore, your past truly is unique to you…Accept it for an event in your life and move on.  Don’t waste your time trying to force people to see the past as you see it…Their memories are none of your business.  Some people see life as a good place…they choose to remember events as good, or helpful, or a learning curve.  Some people see life as a bad place…they choose to hold onto the hurt, and blame, and shame.  Some people are caught in the middle and can’t remember anything, or can be easily swayed.  Memories are an extension of our thoughts…which become our words… which become our actions…and eventually become the essence of who we are.  You should strive to remember your past as positive in some way…either to make you smile or to make you learn.  Don’t let your past affect your present happiness.  Move forward in life with no guilt, no shame, and no regrets.  You have the power to go back to your memories and change the feeling of them…from fear, anger, and sadness…to forgiveness, acceptance, and joy.  It doesn’t change the fact that something unfortunate happened to you, it just changes the way you feel about the event.  When you start to see life as a series of events that help you to learn, and grow, and alter your behavior… then you start to feel content and at peace… and more positive things will flow into your life.

Most people don’t realize that the negativity that they feel is really about themselves. They project the anger towards others…but they are honestly struggling with their feelings for themselves…Fears and insecurities that make them lash out at the world.  The greatest gifts you can give yourself are forgiveness and acceptance.  Forgive yourself for not knowing…forgive yourself for not learning quicker…forgive yourself for making a poor choice…For this is what it is to be human.  We have choices to make and feelings to express.  But if you accept the person that you are, with all of your human qualities, then you will be able to find the good in each day and live your life from a place a peace.  Know that you did the best you could, learn from that day, then put the past behind you … tomorrow is a new day and you are a new person.  We are not created to stays static…we all grow with each new day and each new experience.  You are not the person you were 5 years ago or even 5 days ago.  So don’t dwell in the memories of the person you use to be…embrace the person that you are today.  When you hold onto the hurt, no matter how small it is, you are tethering yourself to the person you were in the past…You are stifling your own growth and peace.  So do yourself a favor…Forgive yourself with all your perceived human flaws and accept the wonderful person that you are evolving into with each passing day.

Give with Love

The wings of love

You must give with love in your heart,                                                otherwise it’s not a gift…it’s just a chore.

Emotions are Good

Painted horse

Emotions are a good thing, they teach us so much about ourselves and our life situations.  You must take the time to understand what you are feeling, so that you can understand yourself and grow.

The Magic is in Everyone

Tribal Eye

Shut off your brain,stop thinking, and just trust in yourself.  Allow your creativity to flow out of your soul…the core of who you are.  That is the magic in everyone.