#15. There is no blame, nor good or bad….There only lessons to help you become the best person you can be.
We honestly do create our own happiness…Life is what we make of it. So many of us are lost in a life of false obligations and unhappiness. We choose to live there because we were taught to accept it. The problem is, we weren’t put here to live in unhappiness. We are suppose to learn and grow from the bad times so that we can find the love and joy. What we consider “bad” really is put in our life to help us understand and accept the “good”. Every person is playing their role in your life…don’t hate them for that. They are helping you become the best version of yourself. As you start to accept them/it, you begin to change the way you see life and how you feel about people/situations. You are the one who has changed, not the other person…yet they now seem harmless, because you don’t allow them to rule your thoughts and feelings anymore.
I saw this post today and realized the impact that it had on me… “Some people will never let go of your past because their life is still there. They will only see you for who you were then, because they can’t benefit from who you are now”…Trent Shelton, RehabTime. The past is the past and I refuse to dwell there. I am in charge of myself…I can’t control what others’ feel or think or say, and that is none of my business. I am in the business of creating my own happiness!!! I get to decide how I see the world around me. It’s only hurtful if you allow it to be hurtful… You allow hurt, fear, joy, happiness, etc… You decide!!! If someone says something/does something “bad” to me, I have the choice to be offended, get angry, and ruin my mood…or I have the choice to think why they said/did it, accept it for who they are, and go about my day not giving it a second thought. If I do think about it, I have the choice to examine my feelings and adjust my own life accordingly. Let’s say that I didn’t get enough sleep, I woke up late, and now I am one step behind with everything I’m doing in the day…I’m distracted and not in a pleasant mood. I overhear some people talking about me, saying how mean I am today… I can get insulted and be angry with those people (who do they think they are! I’d like to see them handle my day!), or I can look at myself, realize I am being mean, and adjust my mood and behavior for the rest of the day (being thankful for those people for making me aware of my behavior and how it was affecting everyone). I can choose to learn, adjust, and let go of the past.
When you are in any relationship (romantic, family, business, friendship), you choose the way you accept and love the other person. Growing up, I never felt a true love between me and my father. I wanted him to show his love in my “idea” of what he should be doing for me and how he should be treating me. I didn’t accept him for the man that he was and therefore, I didn’t understand that he was doing the best he could, loving the best he could, and expressing the best he could. I kept this anger in my heart for decades… Then my mom died. Now I’m left with a choice…Do I want to live the rest of my life hating my remaining parent, or do I want to have a peaceful relationship with him. So I sat down with him and had some honest communication. I told him my thoughts and feelings, and he told me his. We both cried. It ended in the most loving hug that I had ever felt between us. Through that honest communication, I gained a better understanding of who my father is. I appreciate who he is and I accept him for the man he is. I may not always agree or like what he says, but I now understand it and accept it for what it is. I see my dad more now than I did for the last 20 years. We have genuine conversations, and can express our feelings without fear of rejection.
Did you ever ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me!?” The answer is – The only thing wrong is the way you are choosing to think about yourself and the things that unfold during your day. We are only human, we have human emotions and reactions. But at the end of my day, I choose to forgive myself and start fresh the next day. Learn to forgive any perceived wrongs, learn to accept and let go, learn to choose happiness. There is good within the bad, there is light within the dark, and there are lessons within the hardships… Only you can make the choice on what you see.